SEXUAL ADDICTION
Counseling, Treatments & Services
Sexual addiction is the progressive intimacy disorder marked by compulsive sexual thoughts and actions is better identified as sexual addiction.
Contact us today, we'll place you with therapist specializing in sexual addiction therapy and treatments. We can help guide any individual to overcome or heal your mental health issues.
What is Sexual Addiction?
Is Sex Really an Addiction?
Can Sexual Addiction be Treated?
When Do I Need Sexual Addiction Therapy?
What is the Impact of
Addiction on Partners?
What are the Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma?
What Types of Support for Partners do You Provide?
What Happens in Therapy?
What is Sexual Addiction?
Admittedly the topic of sexual addiction is controversial for some people. Our position on the topic is much more personal than academic. The simple question is, has sexual behavior become a problem in your life or in the life of a loved one?
There are four helpful ways to assess for the presence of sexual addiction. For example, we can think in terms of 10 Criteria for Sexual Addiction as identified by Dr. Patrick Carnes. These are patterns of behavior that show up in a person’s life.
A second way to think about sexual addiction is actually a term borrowed from eating disorders. Sexual Anorexia is the attempt to shut the sexual drive down within a person’s life. This is rarely successful for more than a short period of time, and the greater problem is that the root issues continue to exist.
As a result, many people enter what is called a Binge-Purge Cycle. This is a cycle in which a person finds herself or himself highly engaged in sexual behaviors that are inconsistent with their values, or problematic in relationships, and make great efforts to stop their behavior “cold turkey.” Unfortunately, this often results in a cycle of switching back and forth from binging behaviors to purging behaviors.
Dr. Patrick Carnes has identified 20 Collateral Indicators of Sexual Addiction. These indicators are representative of thousands of individuals who have been through sexual addiction treatment programs.
The Foundry Clinical Group in California has put together a helpful summary of each of these descriptions listed above. Download their Four Self Tests and complete the easy assessment in privacy. Be honest with yourself, answer the questions, and give us a call or set up an appointment to discuss your results.
WHAT is a Hypersexuality DISORDER?
Hypersexual disorder is a proposed diagnosis for people who engage in sex or think about sex through fantasies and urges more than normal.
Is Sex Really an Addiction?
The American Society for Addiction Medicine defines addiction in part by:
Addiction is a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual’s life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences.
Prevention efforts and treatment approaches for addiction are generally as successful as those for other chronic diseases. (ASAM Definition of Addiction).
Addictions are divided into two main categories, substances (alcohol, drugs) and processes (gambling, sex, food, etc.). Both substance and process addiction have the ability to change the circuitry of the brain, especially in areas related to the reward system.
Currently there are multiple descriptions for sex as an addiction. Here are some of them with links to more information:
In general, we distinguish between sex, porn, and love addiction. There are similarities and differences in each and they may overlap.
- Sex addiction is what it sounds like; a person "acts out" by being sexual with another person.
- Porn addicts primarily view pornography and generally masturbate.
- Love addiction is need for connection, affirmation, validation, or some other emotional component that is acquired through relationship(s). One main difference between love addiction and a healthy committed relationship is the tendency for the love addict to move from one relationship to another frequently in their effort to have their needs met.
Therapists at Counseling Alliance® have advanced training through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Our therapists are Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) or Candidates for certification (CSATc).
Can Sexual Addiction be Treated?
Absolutely! Sex addiction can be complicated and healing is rarely found without qualified professional help. There are multiple possible contributing factors beyond the poor choices made by the person suffering from the addiction.
The therapists at Counseling Alliance® have decades of combined experience and understand the nuances of sex, porn and love addiction, as well as the impact upon the partner.
Just a few of the areas that must be addressed are: family of origin factors, past trauma, an abuse history, early exposure to porn or early sexualization, poor emotional regulation, poor relationship skills, co-occurring addictions, and shame.
There is hope for a healthier you
Sexual Addictions are treatable. We can help guide you by providing the tools you need to achieve recovery.
When Do I Need Sexual Addiction Therapy?
The short answer to that question is, "When you continue in a behavior despite negative consequences."
A simple six item assessment (PATHOS) is actually a reliable tool to start the journey on recovery. How many of these are true for you?
P = Preoccupation: Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
A = Ashamed: Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
T = Treatment: Have you ever sought therapy for sexual behavior you did not like?
H = Hurt others: Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behaviors?
O = Out of control: Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?
S = Sad: When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
If you answered "Yes" to three or more of the above items further assessment is needed.
Remember, any of the therapists at Counseling Alliance have the training and the ability to conduct such an assessment. Start your healing journey today.
To learn more about therapy options click here.
What is the Impact of Addiction on Partners?
Few things rock a partner's world more powerfully than the discovery of sexual betrayal. At the core of being human is a need to understand our world. We interpret all of life in order that we may predict, understand, and protect our place in the world. This is especially true of our relationships. We have expectations about how our life and relationships should unfold. These expectations are based on promises. The discovery or disclosure that our partner has betrayed us sexually shatters our understanding of our world. We now call everything in to question.

Never give up hope!
While you did not invite betrayal trauma into your life
you can make the decision to turn toward healing. Healing rarely, if ever comes quickly, but it can come.
What Are the Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma?
Another way to think of betrayal trauma the loss involved. All the typical symptoms of grief are common. These include: shock, denial and disbelief, anger, hopelessness, and depression.
Partners also experience confusion mentally, spiritually, and relationally. Sleeplessness, anxiety, hypervigilance, and any of a number of physical and emotional complaints are also common. This is part of the trauma reaction to the disclosure or discovery.
We support and normalize the symptoms associated betrayal trauma. You are not going crazy. These are normal reactions to an abnormal situation.
And most importantly, help is available.
What Types of Support for Partners Do You Provide?
Counseling Alliance® offers a variety of supportive therapies for partners. Therapy options include:
- Individual,
- Group,
- Peer Support,
- Telehealth, and
- JUMPSTART TO HEALING®.
Therapy approaches include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, Psychodrama, among others.
What Happens in Therapy?
People often wonder what happens in therapy. This can especially be true for partners who have experienced betrayal trauma. Here are some basics of what to expect. Our therapists will work with you to:
- Help you process what has happened,
- Get the story straight about the nature of the betrayal,
- Find multiple sources of support so that you don't have to "go it alone."
- Work with you to help you determine the next best course of action,
- Help you develop a healing mindset for yourself first. Initially this means:
- Establishing personal safety. For example, through setting healthy boundaries
- Process your trauma. It is impossible for you to heal from your trauma without safety. Unfortunately too many partners become stuck in their trauma and as a result do not feel safe. Thus healing for betrayal never comes.
- When ready, consider healing for the relationship.
- Chart a course for the future.
- Get your life back!
While therapists at Counseling Alliance are fully licensed and trained to provide a wide range of services many of our therapists have advanced training in the areas listed below. Our goal is to be one of the premier treatment centers in the Midwest for relationship issues, sex, love and porn addiction, and the treatment of trauma.